The “You’re Undateable” List:

20 Apr

There are some fashion faux pas that make guys completely undateable.**

Escuchame, I may be able to help you. Women will judge you on how you look in the first 10 to 15 seconds they see you. If you’re dressed like a fool, you already lost out. The only thing that might be able to save you now is beer googles, but let’s be serious; once those wear off you’re right back where you started. So-lo.

Chinese takeout for one, please? Oh, awkward you gave me two chopstick sets thinking I’d have someone to share this with….. but yet, I am alone.

BUT WHY? It could be the way you look. I’ve posted about this before. So here are some other things you need to avoid at all times and definitely at all costs.

DO NOT:

Wear Ed Hardy in public, ever, for any reason. I don’t care how Jersey you think you are. NO EXCUSES. Especially if it’s a *shudder* man tank.

Sport super-baggy oversized jeans. If I see this I’m going to pants you. And it’s going to be completely non-sexual and highly embarrassing. You’ve been warned.

….and threatened.

Wear a shirt tighter than that girl you wish was your girlfriend.

….I can see your nips.

Go out in mandals, ever.

Wear jean shorts. This is not the 80’s and you look like a douchebag.

Terrible sneakers = you’re sleeping alone tonight. …again.

Sport bad facial hair. Lip fur is an instant deal breaker, every single time.

Bad haircuts PAIRED with terrible facial hair.

Now, re-access, go fourth and womanize! I’m in your corner, rooting for you. Change is possible.

** Yes, I realize “undateable” is not actually a real word in the English language but has that stopped me before? No, the answer is a resounding and ear piercing NO.

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