Archive | March, 2011

Vicky, Christina, Knockoff Loubs; The Look For Less

17 Mar

Since  it’s Saint Patrick’s Day and all I figured that ( before I get started with my ultimate fashion find) I should to show you all something green, alcohol related, and adorable. Here you go:

hint: he's even cuter after a few beers

Now that that’s out of the way; Margo and I went shopping on Tuesday and, while most of our day was a hate-fest of ugly, we managed to make a shoe discovery of EPIC proportions. Remember the super chic Loubs that we featured in our very first Luxury Corner?

Le Loubs

Well we’ve found a discount version, that (while not as good as the originals, obvi) is sure to blow your pretty little, non-millionare minds. These $80 beauties (shown below) are from the magical Aldo, and while they lack the hand crafted cut-out floral detailing of the Loubs, their crochet patterning gives off the same sexy, beach-y feel. Penelope Cruz would be proud of us for adopting her sultry style without having her movie star bank account. Adios Amigas, I’ll see you at the shoe store!

Daily Dose…

17 Mar

St. Patrick’s Day Edition. “Top O’ The Mornin’ To Ya!”

Gossip: Kurt & Blaine finally kissed on GLEE, gays and friends-of-gay alike REJOICE!

Fashion: Spring 2011 Green Fashion for St. Patty’s brought to you by stylelist.

Shopping: Grunge Chic by Elizabeth & James is on Gilt this week, proving once again that there’s a little Kurt Cobain in all of us.

Hilarious: Middle School children suspended for passing a baggie of Oregano during class…DARE to resist herbs & spices.

A Few Things All Men Should Know:

16 Mar
  1. Real men know how to drive a manual car. Learn.
  2. We know when you’re lying. We just do. Ever hear of women’s intuition? Shit’s real, I promise.
  3. A woman without any female friends can’t be trusted. Those girls who have “guy friends” instead of girl friends have some crazy issues they need to work out. That’s why all the other girls she knows don’t like her. She’s probably a psycho who is constantly vying for male attention. Run. Quickly.
  4. Your shoes determine if you’re fashionable or not. Don’t wear your sneakers to the bar. I don’t care how white they are or if you just beer proofed them for maximum drinking safety. You look like a douchebag in them.
  5. If you’re in the dog house “I’m sorry” is not going to cut it. Flowers, a card, or a dinner will work in your favor.
  6. Women remember everything. Make a man calendar of dates you should remember.
  7. Don’t just buy your girlfriend some kind of jewelry every time there’s an anniversary or birthday. Expand your horizons. She wants to think you took time to buy something nice that she wanted, not just picked something shiny because it was easy and you know bitches love diamonds.
  8. Be spontaneous. Ladies eat that shit up. EVERY TIME. Surprise her with something nice. She’ll thank you later.
  9. Crazy cat guys are just as bad as crazy cat ladies. Get a puppy, you freak.
  10. Most women are unimpressed with guys who don’t take the lead. Take note. Bonus points.
  11. If you buy a girl drinks all night at a bar it doesn’t mean she’s going to sleep with you. Pick a better tactic. And thank you for the free drinks.
  12. Girls care how fit you are. Stay relative to your girlfriend’s level. If you have a beer belly and your girlfriend is a svelte 10, that’s an issue. (Shallow and harsh, but true). Hit the gym for yourself and your girlfriend.
  13. Don’t spray on enough cologne to kill a small animal when you’re going out. I want to see you from a mile away, not smell you.

…….. You’re welcome.

Man Wednesday’s Silver Fox of the Week, Chris Hansen:

16 Mar

Andd here he is! The silver fox of the week. Just gettin’ all the creeps off the streets one rented house at a time:

If you haven’t seen the Dateline NBC series “To Catch a Predator”, I’m sorry but I don’t think we can be friends. Do you not own a television?  This show is a classic. I quote Chris Hansen in casual conversation more than anyone should ever quote anyone… EVER.  This tends to get worse every 4th of July when there is a “To Catch a Predator” marathon on and they play basically every edition for a solid 24 hours. Makes sense if you ask me. Chris Hansen is an American hero. Is there a better way to celebrate the freedom of our country other than catching sexual predators? NOPE. I don’t think so.

“Well, Bob, there’s something I’ve gotta tell you and uh, this might not come as a surprise but, I’m Chris Hansen. ((pause)) with Dateline, NBC.  And we’re doing a series on sexual predators. Have a seat over there. We have a chat room conversation that we printed here between you and our decoy Sally, aged 13. I’m going to read it to you now, if that’s all right. No, I don’t care if you already know what it says. Our Dateline viewers deserve to hear the truth. Get comfortable.”

so, what's on the agenda for tonight?

“Is that a condom in your pocket? You say you were going fishing? Seems to me you were just fishing for sex with a 13 year old girl. Please don’t cry sir, it’s embarrassing. What’s that? Don’t tell your wife? Well I’m pretty sure she’ll be watching this on NBC when it airs. I assume she’s heard of Dateline. For now though, you’re free to go. The police are waiting outside.”

Perfection. Sweet Katie Couric I love this man.

Hansen: “Care to explain yourself?” Predator: “I dunno, she seemed nice.” Hansen: “Well, actually no, she just seemed 13.”

Wet T-Shirt Contest: Man Wednesday Edition

16 Mar

What would Man Wednesday be without a little eye candy for the ladies? I mean really, we wouldn’t feel right dedicating an entire day of blogging to the “stronger” sex without giving our readers (and ourselves) a look at some of the hottest male bods in Hollywood. Vote for your fave wet and wild hottie in the comment section and we’ll post an honorary gallery for the winner next week. Sometimes, objectification is fun…

 

Justin Timberlake

 

Jake Gyllenhaal

Tom Brady- Hometown Hottie

Hugh Jackman

James Franco

 

Daily Dose…

16 Mar

Man Wednesday Edition…

Gossip: Yesterday was Kellan Lutz’s birthday. Apparently he celebrated by being photographed shirtless.

Shopping: New Discovery- uncrate.com – The buyers guide for men.

Fashion: GQ’s Guide to Denim. (Stay away from the “super skinny,” please and thank you)

Hilarious: Men’s Health, the “Sex Position Master“.  Bow chica wahhh wahhh

 

If Martha Stewart Was My Grandma…

15 Mar

The recent news of Martha Stewart becoming a grandmother brought only one thought into my mind: ” that is one SERIOUSLY lucky baby.” Prison term aside, Martha has all the makings of the perfect grandmother; she could spoil you with treats, teach you to make all of your own clothing and decor, and I KNOW she’d throw some kick ass birthday parties- pony included. Based on this random train of thought, I’ve established 3 major ways my life would be different if Martha was my grandma:

1. I’d be organized– If you’re Martha Stewart, you know where all the tape, scissors & tools are off the top of your head and you can get to them STAT in case of a craft catastrophe. In my three room apartment, there are probably about 3 or 4 pairs of scissors floating around and yet, I have absolutely no idea where they are. Martha’s granddaughter will definitely benefit from her Grandma’s organizational skills; for the rest of her life she will have a special, probably lace-covered place for her scissors, and I’m sure that she will have enough coordination to cut a straight line every time.

2. My school projects would have been AMAZING– One time when I was in elementary school, my mother helped me make a diorama of the state of Georgia with styrofoam and some green molding clay. Long story short, my diorama broke in half in the car on the way to school and traumatized baby Sarah had to smush the clay back together and pretend that it was fine for the rest of the day (true story). This would never happen to Martha’s grandchild. If Martha was my grandma, she would have created an exact replica of Georgia with a sturdier material than styrofoam (of course), and covered with with actual turf that she had flown in from a prize winning garden in Savannah. My project would have been the talk of the school, and I’m sure it would have filled the classroom with the aroma of a fresh Southern garden until it was time to take it home.

3. I’d throw fabulous parties– If there is one thing that Martha knows how to do, it’s host a party. Her food, decor, and entertainment are never complained about and I’m sure all of her guests leave with an extremely thoughtful parting souvenir. These impeccable skills would of course be engrained in the souls of Martha’s grandchildren, so that they could continue her party throwing traditions for generations to come. If and when I actually have someone over (which is rare), I’m usually praying that they don’t spill anything on the white carpet (not getting back my security deposit is my worst fear). In fact, I’ve been known to absentmindedly forget to even offer my guests a drink. Clearly, I am not hostess material and if Martha could, she’d look down on me with shame.