For all of who are unaware because you live in Dubai or go by the Aztec calendar, today is St. Patrick’s day! Personally, I love this holiday with an alcoholic passion, but the city of Boston on St. Patrick’s day is literally a joke. If I see one more “Kiss my Ass” t-shirt written in Irish I’m going to slap a hoe.
Everyone all over the city gets shitfaced and goes insane telling anyone who will listen about how Irish they are because their great grand parents or whatever came over about a hundred years ago and they grew up in Southie where their family has resided since then. Even more ironic is the fact that half these people don’t even have passports.
So before you go out today and pull this show stopper tactic so as to make yourself “more authentic”, I just want to remind you of something profoundly obvious: If you were born in America, YOU’RE AMERICAN. And that my green clad friends, is your nationality. Accept it, Embrace it. Go cry over “The Departed” and shotgun a few cans of Natty Ice. It’s going to be okay. Besides, Green alcohol is what’s up. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go celebrate.
Sláinte! <— ha ha ha